Sunday, August 23, 2009

Slipping into someone elses' vomit

My left knee is now the future home of a small bruise I developed after slipping and falling in someone elses' vomit.

Oh, don't worry. You read that right.
The kicker? It was daytime and I was sober. What kind of sober idiot slips and falls in someone elses' vomit? Me. I can liken the experience to the prom scene from"Carrie" -- only I slipped and blood wasn't poured on me. And no one laughed because surprisingly, I was in some unchartered area of shopping mall corridor leading to the bathrooms. I guess you could say it was the reverse Carrie prom scene, with vomit and no laughing witnesses. (Or witnesses at all.) In my defense, whoever produced the vomit, was something of a mastermind probably out to get unsuspecting, harmless, God-fearing women like myself without ever getting caught. The vomit in question, was watery and had camouflaged itself against the linoleum floor. Slippery-when-wet-signs were nowhere to be found at the scene of the crime.

Still in my reverse Carrie state trying to recover, a cleaning lady watched me, horrified. I was out for blood against retail property owning corporations and all of a sudden, in dire need of a shower. So, I filed a safety complaint. I was told someone will, "take care of it." If there is justice in the world, I'm hoping for a mall shopping spree or a free dinner.

1 comment:

  1. Ok.. ewe factor is high on that one. As long as you weren't hurt!